i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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