let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
