and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
