he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
