Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
