What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
