So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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