Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
did i walk over a car last night?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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