Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
