I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
