No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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