uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
