when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
