If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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