Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
