dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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