I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize