I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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