the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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