i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
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Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
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I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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