I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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