Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
