Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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