U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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