dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
