just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
