Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
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it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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