If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize