there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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