My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
