What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
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just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just found puke in my bra..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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