singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
