She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
