we have officially mastered the walk of shame
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
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Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize