Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
