Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
