i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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