doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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