We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
