is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
