I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
