I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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