She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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