it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize