Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
