Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
