Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
