I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
