Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have fence marks all over my body
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
