I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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