Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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