you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize