then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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