i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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