Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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