If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
