i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
