You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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