I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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