I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
